RanDumb-er

Author: Mark Hayes

Website:

Blog: http://trickaduu.com

RanDumb: http://amzn.to/pGtbqY

RanDumber: http://amzn.to/xunZDQ

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/trickaduu

Description: "From Beverly Hills mansions to Irish country lanes, super-yachts to side-alleys, howling cougars to psychotic nutters, stand-up spotlights to police helicopter searchlights, superstar highs to inner demon woes, along with so much more, Mark Hayes takes us on quite an adventure in RanDumb-er, the random but hardly dumb tales of an Irish chancer."

Review: After reading the existing reviews on this, I wondered if I had the same copy, or my worldview is completely distorted.

After the first two chapters, I definitely agreed with everyone; this was some really funny stuff, quick, random, wild, and bizarre. It was different and fun... but for a limited time.

Because this really defies classification in a genre, I am not going to knock points off because of the one-word sentences or random punctuation. But there should also be a limit to this type of thing, a balance.

And I hate to knock things down because of taste—I really try not to do that. There have to be other glaring problems, such as plot holes, editing, etc. I'm not sure there would be many editing concerns with this one, since the sentences are quick and punchy. And there really is no plot, but is that OK?

The basic premise is: Try to get going in LA, get career started. Meet girls, get drunk, have some sort of intimate encounter (usually only ones that benefit the author), wake up, regret everything, and try again. Because of this, the main character comes across as very self-centered, as if the world just spins for his own benefit. The same routine over and over really got to me for some reason, and though that is a matter of taste, it also rings of a "plot" problem.

I do not like to be the one to knock down a book like this. As I said, the first pages really got be because the style was out-there, and I figured things were going to get weird. They got weird, but then fell into a monotonous routine. I think this could have been a lot shorter, maybe even a long story/novella, and come across perfectly.

I was given a copy of this for review.

Additional Info: I did a little digging and something just seems a little odd about this. First I checked out RanDumb and its 90+ glowing reviews... OK, so I have no life apparently but something stuck in my craw and so I followed up. Then I checked out this one.

Only THREE other reviewers had reviewed any book (some had reviewed products, but I was only looking at books) other than Hayes' works. Only three. Out of almost 100 reviews for these two books, we only have three people who have reviewed anything else. And oddly, almost every review is 5 stars. Curiously, those who gave negative reviews had many other book reviews... but they get buried in the avalanche of five stars.

I can't say for sure what this means, but my instinct tells me something is up.

Above the Universe Below

Author: Elias Barton

Website: www.eliasbarton.com   

Description: Being the grim reaper of another world is only part of Carder’s life.  In our world he’s a shut-in, leaving home only to dash to his hospital job removing the corneas of deceased donors.  Still, Carder has long ushered weird creatures to the afterlife and honored them in bleak, individual paintings.  That’s Carder’s existence – and he’s content.  

Haika changes that.  A bored, beautiful, married art gallery-owner, she stumbles into Carder by chance.  As they forge a quirky, sexually-tinged relationship, Carder is reluctantly pulled into Haika’s social world of wealth and status. Carder is tested further when his teenage niece visits, rebelling against her religious upbringing.  When Haika finally prods Carder to publicly show the bleak art he’s obsessively created, Carder’s hidden history threatens to ruin his prospects, and on the night of his art gallery opening, his past finally becomes too much for him to take

Review: Well, this wasn't bizarro per se, though it was strange enough that I agreed to review it.

It was, well, in a word, interesting. The writing is great and I can see how it got so far in the process for breakthrough novel. Who knows how those contests work anyway, but I don't think that missing the high mark is a bad thing; this is a really good book.

Like the other reviewers, I felt myself dazed and confused--in a good way. One is never sure of what is going on, and the writing is fast and crisp such that you keep flipping the page to find out what happens next. A few phrases here and there are confusing and a little clunky, but I found my way quickly.

While others enjoyed Carder, at times he came across as "woe-is-me", or "check me out, I'm so uber cool and depressed. Yay." Perhaps that was the emotion that Barton was trying to elicit. If so, it worked. But if it wasn't, then count me as one who dislikes the guy. Personal taste and all that. It's a very solipsist characterization, and it does fit, especially at the end, but by then all pre-conceptions and notions have been obliterated. Wow. Did that make sense? It isn't supposed to.

Plot, etc.: F. Blunt's review captures well the basic idea of the book and its direction. So I don't really need to go into all that... just know that this was a fun read, well worth .99. A very unique tale, which really does do a good job of hinting at the dark and deadly with a crooked grin. It is a terrific story and as I re-read passages, and think more on it, I wish the book had made it to the top of the contest: It is far better than most books out there today. It takes a little getting used to, but in my mind a good book is not supposed to pass everything off at a third grade level. It should make you think, question, wonder, and doubt where you are at all times.

Highly recommended.

Notes: There were some editing issues, nothing major (e.g., capitol vs. capital, and some other odds 'n ends things).

4 stars!

Scarce Resources

Author: Brendan Detzner

Website: http://www.detzner.com/brendan/

Description: A collection of strange short stories.

Review: 

There have been a few short story collections that have come my way and I really enjoy them because they provide a nice break to a longer novel. In this collection, we have a bunch of very interesting, very quick, readable, and VERY strange stories.

And, because this is a collection of stories, many of which have appeared in other publications over the years, one gets to observe how a writer's style has changed over time... in a good way. (Although I'm not sure if these are all placed in chronological order of publication. There are a few clues that indicate otherwise, but nothing to detract from the overall quality.)

Some stories feel a little short, while "Music for Scalpel and Piano" is micro-fiction on the head of a pin. I think even "Another Saturday Night" could be drawn out a little more.

I really, really, really like the explanations of the stories at the end, which help explain things, and make me realize the micro piece is really OK. Although I'd want longer. That's just a matter of taste...

... as are these stories. When Detzner says that "Super Jesus" has no redeeming value, he's right. But, guilty as I am, it was probably my favorite, next to "Another Saturday Night." As a connoisseur of strange and weird things, this was a very nice foray into that territory. Though not totally bizarro, it is worth a read.

So, while this is not a tome of powerful literature, it is good and a quick, fun read. As mentioned before, some of the stories feel like shells (darn good shells, mind you), but slightly empty or lacking.

If you are into short stories, I definitely recommend this.

Please add a description for Amazon. When I wrote this, the title was misspelled, "Scarce Resoures" and it is being fixed I am told.

I was given a copy of this for review.

3.45 stars

Bury the Children in the Yard

Author: Andersen Prunty

Website: http://www.andersenprunty.com

Description: Andersen Prunty returns with another collection of horror stories. This volume features: “The Library of Trespass”, “Music from the Slaughterhouse”, “A Butterfly in Ice”, “The Spot”, “Laundrymen”, “The Warm House”, and the novella “Bury the Children in the Yard.”

Review: I got this because I'm now a huge fan of Prunty. This is not bizarro at all, but it is sure out there. The writing is fantastic, the stories are perfectly written and just the right length. The longer, definitely more epic, tale "Bury the Children in the Yard" is a monster of a tale. Not in length, but in impact and brute force. This one sticks out so much that I'm spending the rest of the review on it.

Just to give a little warning, there is a focus on s-e-x in this story, but it makes perfect sense when you hit a certain point in the tale. Substitute violence for ankles-in-the-air, and it all clicks. Since that is what rumpy-bumpy is. But, true to Prunty's style, reality vs. dream is wiped from your brain in a massive swoop and you exclaim to a crowded lunchroom: "WTF!"

And when they ask what you are reading, you click off the device, and run from the room.

There were times in the story where I thought I knew what was going to happen; what the final denouement will be. And my stomach lurched when I (thought) I had it figured out... I remember thinking, "Oh no, he is no going there, is he?" But he doesn't. At least not explicitly. After thinking this over, I realize that that is the genius... he never comes out and tells you, but you are given enough clues with which you can assemble the puzzle.

That is why I need Clorox for the brain.

I can appreciate those who do not see this as horror, because it does not involve head-chopping, chainsaw-wielding savages, or torture. For those who appreciate a subtler brand of horror and fear, this collection is perfect (especially the last story.) One does not need graphic images to be frightened. Fear doesn't always manifest itself the same in people--I was not scared by these stories. I squirmed, I writhed, I became nearly nauseous at the thought of where the author was going. And I didn't need an entire movie-reel of violence and bloodshed.

The ending, however, seemed to lack a certain oomph. As I re-read, it makes sense to end that way, but I still didn't really get a sense that this ended as strongly as it could have. That is the only reason this thing does not get five stars.... otherwise it is absolutely amazing.

4 solid stars

Closing My Eyes Helps Me to See Clearly

Author: Kipp Poe Speicher

Description: "A Nightmare vision of the end of the world and for a limited time a bonus short story Gas For Grass and a sneak peak at my two novels "I Thought You Tasted Like Rain" and "The Other Side"

These two short stories will twist and torment your mind as you unravel the paradox within them. A desperate dash to save a life, realizing one’s own fate, and a man mentally snapping at life’s issues: these stories dive into the dark side and may keep you up at night.

A race for life, a beautiful butterfly, and inevitable suffering accepted as beauty, Closing My Eyes is written from 3 angles, all from descriptive visions lurking inside Speicher. Gas for Grass will make you question sanity, as you find odd enjoyment in the insanity behind one man’s plight for quiet."

Review: Excuse me, but why was this tagged bizarro? It's not funny at all. There's a matter of taste and there is tasteless. Perhaps it is because I have kids, but the first scene nearly drove me to turn the Kindle off and delete the file. But now, I plowed on. After all, I need to make sure my personal taste does not cloud the review.

Not sure I like that word used in the second story, either, though it is first person. Again, taste, so we'll just back off slightly.

Now, to the writing/editing/proofing. Sure, this was edited. Fine. Editors are even listed in the title, so we'll believe that. But were they looking for plot holes, clichés, poor understanding of the language? (red and blue lights don't "ascend", did you mean, their glow began to fill the room; the plaintive wail of the sirens echoed in his head. Heck even that's cliché... still.) It needs some proofing. Well, and a lot more.

Falls to three stars on taste, then plummets with the problems listed above. Many reviewers have said as much as I have, so I won't repeat the valid points. But the author is encouraged to keep on writing, practicing, get some beta readers, etc.

Oh, and how did it get to #35 in Nonfiction -> Philosophy? Huh?

1 star.

Doom Magnetic

Author: William Pauley III

Website: http://doomfiction.com/

Description: Chorizo, Nevada is full of dusty streets, gritty men and filthy women - the perfect place for a man chock-full of secrets to hide. But one fateful day, his past catches up to him...

A Japanese assassin with a cue-ball eye, who goes by the name of Qoser, invades the town with an army of two-foot eyeless minions who have a taste for human blood. He has two things on his mind – Where is his purple television? And who is the dead man that stole it from him?

DOOM MAGNETIC! is a fast-paced sci-fi/western space opera packed full of sex, violence, cosmic voids, vortexes, Coliseum-style combat, genetically-engineered mutant giants, breathy brain whispers, and cigar smoke torture chambers.

Review: At first, the writing style of this book got to me. I know these are hick characters, in a hick town. Yet the writing style sure matches the atmosphere of the place, and as the story progressed, it suddenly became transparent and I didn't even notice. Well, until it all changed... but that's what makes it great.

Try to keep up, kids, this is some super-fine bizarro.

I did notice, however, the giant—holy crap, bugs!

Sorry, where was I?

While this story does not come out and throw naked pink unicorns riding Harley's along a road made of lettuce and titanium, it still takes out a massive chunk of Crazy and smacks you upside the head.

It's a short, fast, wonderful read. Perhaps a little too short, but then you don't want to have to force things to a certain length. You get the picture quickly and are off to the races. Somebody zap me with the cliché-zapper. Thank you. After all, it is celebrity that matters, isn't it. So who cares? Right. But, the main point I'm trying to make is this: This is a fun, fast, and perfectly written for the genre. Read it. Read it now. And be careful who you shoot in a barroom massacre. 

OK, I'm off to make some chorizo and eggs. The corn tortillas are warm if you'd like to come over... or not, yes, better not. Stay home. You're safe from the Doom Magnetic at home.

Aren't you?

3.9 stars

Additional Info: The text was not justified on the Kindle version. Not a lot of space/breaks between chapters. If this bothers you, feel free to step into the Doom Magnetic.

Enhance Your Exports! Doing Business on Other Planets - William Peskett

Author: William Peskett

Website: http://www.williampeskett.com/

Description: ‘This is a serious business book. If it’s cheap laughs you want, stick with “In Search of Excellence”.’ So begins this satire of 21st century life disguised as a science-fiction guide to doing business on other planets.

Follow Dave Smart, business studies lecturer, as he leads three business colleagues on a tour of discovery to the Smiling Disc star system, 19 light years from home. Their main purpose is to investigate business practice on Kalista-mm, the larger of the system’s two planets, and gather material for Dave’s new book, ‘Doing Business on Other Planets.’

Review: "This is a serious business book." If you think that opening line was a joke, think again. While this story is rife with humor and zaniness, there are so many parallels to our own world, perceptions, ideals, and business practices that sometimes you stop laughing and cry. And then laugh again.

See, it's like this: I'd have to give you 33 cents back from a dollar, when the item cost 45 cents. This, because of the ancient practice of shaving the dollar bills with beaver whiskers and muskrat milk; not to mention that such practice is difficult, destructive, and causes waste. Thus, this tariff has been hefted upon you for that service. You're welcome.

Get it?

Great! You'll be perfect for the job.

This is a fast read, very well-written, smooth, and the characters are enjoyable. The dialogue is very witty, and there is a lot of it, which really keeps things moving well. We are treated to a Candide-esque traipse around a strange planet and its moon. M-o-o-o-n, that spells moon. (Three o's are intentional.) Great read, and I really enjoyed it. The ending is a good setup for future tales in this saga, and I eagerly await more, though it did feel a little flat to me.

It's not really bizarro, though it is bizarre. But don't let that stop you. Let the definers of genres bicker and argue. Read this book.

Oh, and I have actually seen the sun in Snowdonia. But it rained like hell in Llanerchymedd.

3.77 stars